Dangerously Delicious
by Elixirs
Summary: “Alright, I’ll play with your sick little game, but oh how much pain you will suffer when I get my hands on you.” Eggplant/Tuna, fail humor, slight sexual contents. You have been warned!


Why hello there! Do you know me? Hahaha most likely not. That's an easy explanation, it's simply because I have risen from the dead and came back here. I quit writing a year ago thus leaving all my on-going fan fictions on hang. Will I continue them? Most likely not and I do apologize for it.

So anyways, I just want to write a oneshot since summer vacation started and there's literally nothing to do around the house so it ends back here.

**WARNING**: I am originally a smut writer, so writing hardcore scenes is nothing for me. Thus there are scenes that could imply slight sexual content. You have been warned.

**WARNING 2**: Not yet proof read. Full of typos, chinese grammar and anything shitty related to English

Enjoy the lameness of this

* * *

_**Meet me at the place you refused-to-go-because-it-looks-too-damn-expensive for an important matter. We need to talk and PS: wear something oriental, okay? **_

Luka stared at the half creased post it note lying peacefully in her palm. If it weren't for the obscene purple color of the paper, then she would've had no idea who on earth would've written it. Standing by the fridge that was half open due to the fact it was supposed to be dinner time, she snapped out of her trance and thought out where could '_refused-__to-go-because-it-looks-too-damn-expensive'_ be.

It had suddenly hit her head when she once remembered walking on the way home with Miku and Gakupo from grocery shopping. As they walked through the windy pavement of the empty streets, they encountered a very traditional Japanese restaurant nearby a lake that always reflected the moon. It had caught all of their attention but Luka decided to continue walking on, however the two had gone to take a closer look.

It didn't take long when they walked back to where Luka was standing, impatiently tapping her foot as she waited for them with two heavy bags filled with bottles and meat. Miku had explained disappointedly to Luka that the varieties of food and drinks were beyond their budget to the point that it could've taken up weeks worth of dinner. Gakupo on the other hand, was oblivious to the numbers and disagreed with the pigtailed girl completely.

'_Ahhh… So this '__**talk**__' we should have will only end up with me paying the bill,_' the peach haired female concluded, crumpling up the tiny paper and tossing it into the trash can.

There was no way she was going to be fooled by some idiot who thinks he already fits in the family. She _hated_ him to think that they were all happy together and as one whole big loving family. Everyone seemed to have warmly welcomed Gakupo into the family but only the busty female refuse to accept the egg plant freak.

Disregarding the appointment, she resumed back to preparing dinner. Looking into the fridge, her lips dropped into a frown. There was literally nothing to cook. She gritted her teeth and slammed the fridge door closed. Yesterday the fridge was filled with food that could've lasted for a month but suddenly there was nothing and hell did she know who was behind this.

"Alright, I'll play with your sick little game, but oh how much pain you will suffer when I get my hands on you."

* * *

The air was cold the moment Luka had stepped out of the apartment. She wore a yukata with the patterns of cherry blossom and a black background to give more elegancy and a more lady-like appearance compared to a sweet cute look. The dress was simple but it gave off a strong aura with its refined colors. Her peachy hair was tied into a bun with a few strands hanging loose due to the rush of styling with two dangling pink diamond hair pins to secure the bun. She tried as much as possible to look like she didn't put any effort in looking good so that the purple haired retard would give off an idea that Luka just didn't give a damn about trying to give a good impression, but she couldn't help but look a little nice, it was a trait she wasn't unable to neglect.

Luka wore a coat over to cover the dress and her annoying cleavage always proudly visible no matter how much she tried to hide it. Kicking the door to relieve a little bit of anger, she yelped in pain from the recoil. "Just a little longer… I'll make sure you'll regret doing this," she whispered under her breath, licking the sides of her glossy lips.

It was almost like trotting all the way to the restaurant because of the door incident. Her ankles were numb from the harsh temperature of the hour. The waiter outside caught sight of a fearful pink haired female dragging her right foot towards him, he gulped hard as he gripped even harder onto his slacks.

"M-may I help you ma'am?" the poor waiter stammered as Luka stood in front of the boy with the eyes of an assassin.

"Is there a feminine looking male with gayishly purple hair usually tied up into a freaking ponytail?" she said as she tried her best to restrain her fury.

The frightened waiter glanced into the room and turned back to face the female, nodding _oh-so_ very slowly as if he knew what Luka had up her sleeves. She gave a curt nod and proceeded inside, shrugging off her coat to leave it hanging on the coat rack. The room was large and dim, filled with customers that looked like people with very high status. It was very traditional indeed, a small koi pond in the center with a waterfall streaming down the rocks. The chairs and tables were made purely out of high quality wood along with the all the other interiors. Everything that Luka saw was utterly magnificent.

Taking another step forward, already businessmen had their eyes on her revealing chest, motivating her even more to walk faster. The female tried as much as possible to ignore the stares and search for the room for anyone with obscene purple hair, but no matter how much she looked, he was nowhere to be found. She turned back to the waiter at the entrance who coiled back and shyly pointed at the corridor location at the end on the room.

'_Oh so this place goes further than this room, lovely,_' she sighed, making her way passed the customers.

The singer entered the narrow passage and lead to outside with a bridge connecting from the first building to a much smaller room. She was very sure she knew who was inside. Her pace of walking increased as she crossed the bridge to the other side finally reaching the door that barricaded her from murdering the man inside.

She took a deep breather and slammed the door opened and threw her bag directly at the vase which shattered the moment it reached contact.

"KAMUI GAKUPO!" she shouted with all her might, slowly opening her eyes to see if she managed to the kill the man. Unfortunately, there was a male lounging casually on hundreds of cushions, the palm of his hand on his cheek with his eyes blinked from the sudden call of his name.

Luka took the moment to regain her breath and compose herself while it was nearly impossible due to the weirdness of the room. It was dimmer than the one in the main area and there were curtains draping behind the eggplant addict. Candles were spotted on some parts of the rooms but the light was nothing compared to the window on the right which revealed a full moon shining its light directly at the purple haired male which gave him an even more appealing look.

Just like Luka, he wore traditional clothing. Although it was simply grey with a few thin white stripes, it suited him very well. She snorted when she noticed that the top part of his robe was loose which revealed his toned chest. If only she wasn't here to murder that delicious human then perhaps she'd take a few seconds to admire it.

"Yes? May I help you?" he finally spoke after two minutes had finally passed. The busty female repulsed and shot her finger directly at him.

"Help? Why yes! Could you explain how on earth_ all_ the food magically disappeared from the fridge?" she scowled viciously, already her head filling up with more anger.

The male placed his index on his lip and thought for a while before he replied. "I ate it."

She raised an eyebrow from the ridiculous lie. "You ate it? _All of it_?"

He nodded with a small grin rising from his lips. Damn she was definitely going to wipe that cocky grin off his face.

"Alright then, if you ate all of it, then looks like I'll have Miku and Rin cook dinner for the next few months," she replied, crossing her arms while she held in the tiny smile that was aching to widen.

Gakupo literally shivered from the thought of having onion flavored banana or banana flavored onion or worse, banana and onion flavored eggplant.

"Disgusting," he muttered, glancing up as Luka kneeled down in front of the table in front of him.

"Okay… it's in the storage room of our neighbor," he admitted with much disappointment.

The room became silent and what was left of the noise were the leaves rustling from outside. Gakupo found it unnatural and decided to look back up, only then he understood why it had suddenly become less frightening.

The female was staring at the table with her lips slightly ajar. It was filled with sushi and sashimi, mainly of tuna. Fatty tuna, semi-fatty and even just plain tuna was everywhere. She gulped and suddenly winced from the loud growl emitting from her stomach. The samurai burst out laughing from the response, finally breaking the tension of knowing he wasn't going to be killed after all.

She blushed from the embarrassment and grabbed the pillow beside her and threw it aggressively at the man in front of her. "Shut up! It was your fault I had no dinner," she said defensively.

"No dinner? Why I thought this is your dinner," he replied, pushing one of the plates towards her. "Besides, I already ate," he added with a grin.

She crossed her arms and faced the window with a sneer, refusing the heavenly food on the table.

Gakupo rolled his eyes, "Tsundere."

"Feminine face," she retorted.

Another few minutes passed and the constant growling was not stopping. Gakupo remained in his lazy position, simply watching the bluish flame from the candle on the table until something else was going to happen. Luka grew irritated of the quietness and snatched the chopsticks and finally gave in to temptation.

"That's certainly lady-like for someone who dresses quite beautifully for me," he commented as Luka continued to devour ever single tuna visible of her sight.

She shot a glare at him, chewing the raw meat as if it was him being chewed and then swallowed. "So tell me, what is it that you want to tell me?" she ignored his statement and got straight to the point.

He finally sat up from his posture and took out a wine bottle which revealed to be rice wine. The male poured the contents on both cups and gave the other one to the hungry female. She eyed the cup like a prey and snatched it off his hand, downing the drink in one go, slamming the glass back onto the table. He poured it again and set the bottle to get back to the conversation.

"I'm leaving the Vocaloid family," he said with a flat tone.

Luka froze with her chopsticks and a tuna sushi hanging in midair. Her grip on the tuna slipped resulting to the small food falling back on the plate along with the chopsticks. Her heart literally skipped a beat from the shocking news. She was utterly at loss for words.

"Just kidding! Happy April Fools!" he bluffed, followed by a loud laughter.

She continued to stay as frozen as a statue. Tears were already welling up on her eyes but not enough to escape them. She bit her lip hard as she threw another pillow but with a completely different level of strength.

"I hate you!" she coughed, hunching her knees up to her chest, burying her face in between the gap.

"Aww… Did I upset my dear tako Luka?" he cooed, snickering from every action Luka did.

"Don't call me that, you obsessed eggplant freak," she replied but was muffled from her dress.

"I could say the same for tuna," he said, glancing at almost all the empty plates that could've served five people.

She shot her head at Gakupo and finally lunged at time, some more plates clashing onto the floor and breaking. Gakupo reacted late from the sudden attack and ended up hitting his head on the floor. He scowled from the pain until he quickly reacted from the near death experience of Luka's teeth. She was inches from his arm if it weren't for the other arm, then she could've bitten hard enough for his arm to bleed but too bad she missed by just a second.

Gakupo took the opportunity to push off the female with his weight. She fell onto the floor nearby where the vase originally was, quickly regaining balance from the shove. She was about to pounce back on the male until she yelped from the sharp pain coming from her finger. The peach haired female lifted her hand and found a long deep cut on the side of her index finger. She looked back down to find herself sitting on the remains of the broken vase.

Gakupo had instantly pulled her towards him, avoiding the area filled with shards of glass. He violently grabbed her injured hand and inspected the cut. She tried to push him away, the grip on of his hand on her wrist tightening.

"Oww, stop it! You're hurting me," she cried, trying as much as possible to push away his hand.

"You need to get this treated, it's too deep," he said, reaching for the rice wine then passing it to her.

"Use this," he said, letting go of her wrist to see if there was something else he could use.

She pulled her hand back to her the moment it was freed and rubbed it to soothe the soreness. Luka found that Gakupo was not helping at all, seeing that she was given a bottle of alcohol as her '_medicine'_ nevertheless she really needed something strong to cool her temper. Taking the bottle with her good hand, she gulped the rest of the fluid until nothing was left.

By the time Gakupo turned around with no solution, he gaped at the empty bottle. "You're supposed to use it on your finger to disinfect it!" he said with disbelief on how she managed to drink everything.

He signed and grabbed her wrist again but a lot more tenderly compared to before.

"Can you just let me do i—" she was cut off from Gakupo's sudden action.

He had his lips planted gently on the cut, trying to soothe the pain away. Slowly he opened his mouth and then took the finger inside, licking the blood off. Luka shivered from the ecstatic feel from the simple touch. He continued to slide his hot tongue against the open wound, taking any blood that would seep out. She let out a sigh with her shaky breath every time the muscles of his tongue would press against her finger.

"Seems like it reduced bleeding," he said, letting go of Luka's wrist.

Before she realized, her eyes were already closed and her heart was racing rapidly. When she had opened her eyes, she wished she had kept them closed. A wide smirk was plastered all over his face which meant a very bad thing, something that would make Gakupo the one with the joker card.

"Your face is as red as Meiko's apples," he commented, placing one hand beside her as he neared in closer to the blushing female.

"Alcohol," she accused, averting her gaze from him.

"Tsk tsk, excuses," he clucked his tongue, shaking his head in a reply of disagreement before he glanced back at her.

"I'm pretty sure you wanted me to place my tongue _elsewhere_," he emphasized, his lips widening from the reply of Luka's even redder cheeks.

'_Oh god, you pervert, why the hell am I so attracted to this? – Wait why is he so close?! I must get away now, I'm in terrible trouble if I continue to stay now—'_before Luka could go any longer, her lips met his.

If Luka hadn't neared by a mere centimeter then she could've accused Gakupo for harassing her but now she had no excuse for later. The moment their lips had met, ecstasy rushed through her numb body, a completely new experience of feeling washing through. Gakupo's arm snaked viciously to her hair, digging his nails into the bun which failed to hold on any longer, letting the long strands of pink hair slide down her shoulder. He pushed her onto the floor and continued to devour her lips, the obi of her yukata loosening up, revealing even more of her cleavage and shoulder.

Luka had completely what her purpose of coming was for and the man she was currently kissing was supposed to be suffering, _really bad_. Luka regretted on shifting her head to the side to catch her breath because the moment she opened her mouth, it was invaded by the same hot tongue that made her body tingle with only a touch on her finger but now it was in her mouth and it was driving her over the edge. She moaned unintentionally as the male above her pressed the very tip of his tongue onto hers, hitting a very sensitive nerve that forced Luka to shiver in pleasure.

He finally freed her mouth from near unconsciousness but was far from done. The purple haired male proceeded to her jaw, planting kisses on the way until he arrived on her pale milky neck. She tried to cover it with her shoulder as Gakupo's small breath blew onto the sensitive skin. Luka's lips were quivering as she felt light stinging nibbles on her neck which gave another pleasurable feel. Luka squealed softly, holding in any sound that was desperately trying to escape her mouth.

When he was satisfied with the love bite clearly visible, he proceeded to go even lower and much more dangerous. But as he was about to push the robe apart, a familiar voice began to sing.

*世界いで一番お姫さま～

Gakupo glanced back at the bag that Luka threw and noticed a small light emitting from it. He ignored the ring tone and turned back to Luka who was already composing herself. He frowned seeing that his fun was most likely over. She abruptly pushed him aside and reached for her bag and then her cell phone.

"Miku what's up?" she panted, trying to act as normal as possible.

"Are you alright? It's already 12 a.m.! I just went to check on your room but you weren't there so I was worried if something happened."

Luka smiled at the thought of the little girl wandering around everywhere in the apartment just to look for her. "Don't worry I'm fine and I'll be home soon, just go ahead and sleep."

She flipped her pale pink phone closed and then slowly stood up, feeling quite light headed from the alcohol. But before she could even take a step forward, she was pulled back.

"Oh no you don't," Gakupo smirked, his hand clasped firmly onto the ribbon of her obi.

She rolled her eyes at him and tugged her ribbon to prevent him from gripping any longer. "You are the worst at lying."

He cocked his head, looking as innocent as possible, "What do you mean?"

"Today's not April 1, it's March 25, you're a few days early," she pointed out.

"Well… If you knew all through out, then why play along?" he asked.

She opened her mouth but then closed it again. Why did she play along? Yes it certainly wasn't pleasing when he joked about leaving but there were a lot of other ways to react instead of what she did.

"Stupid perverted eggplant freak," she muttered, surrendering from thinking anymore.

He chuckled from his poor yet cute pet names, finally standing up as he pulled the band that always kept his hair into a ponytail, the long strands free at last.

"Stupid tsundere tuna freak that I love, it's about time to get serious," he said as he unknotted the tie that kept his robe together.

* * *

Translation:  
_The number one princess in the world –World is Mine_

Ohoho~ No more for you little children! Hoped you liked my lame not-funny story that should go rot in hell.

Consider this a belated April Fools since I failed to fool anyone in on that day ||OTL

Tako Luka demands for a Review, so you better give her one!


End file.
